[REVIEW] Muddy Farmer: $5 water has never tasted any better!

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[REVIEW] Muddy Farmer: $5 water has never tasted any better!

Post by Chekmaryov » Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:55 am


Review: Muddy Farmer
By Jing Lang | December 12th, 2017
Outside of Muddy Farmer, police dealing with a situation.

The Muddy Farmer is marketed as an Irish Pub, located in East Los Santos, Elm Street. Establishments next to Muddy Farmer are the Elm Street Coin Laundry and notorious tattoo shop Elm Street Ink.

I was the first one inside the bar and what I noticed was how bare and spacious Muddy Farmer actually was. The place was a box with barely any seating, featuring an unused pool table that was neglected as it hadn't been set up properly. The overall interior has potential to give more of a modern atmosphere but is executed poorly in terms of design, and it even features an off-putting location to top it all off. No music had played in the bar until Carry Saunders and her entourage entered the establishment with a boombox. Nothing Irish had really caught my eye except the emerald colored pool table. Like the interior, the exterior isn't inviting at all as it is smaller than a boutique and with Cluckin Bell across the street, the scent of grease and chicken overwhelms the area.

Prices seemed to be set by someone who didn't know the economy of Los Santos and it's water resources. A cup of water will set you back five dollars. Standard drinks were four dollars. I was shocked and so was another sane man next to me when he asked for a crystal clear beverage. There had been no menu but the manager had told me what was available. Corona, Heineken, Stella, Coors, and Guinness. The regular.

Inside of Muddy Farmer pictured above, full of patrons.

The only bartender who struggled speaking English and continued to text on his phone was robbed during my experience at Muddy Farmer. His manager and the police officers attending the opening ran out to follow the said thief. Unfortunately, he sped off and wasn't apprehended by authorities. Another man was escorted off the premises by the two male officers after displaying drunken behavior. No one had informed me caffeinated beverages were on the menu; especially the oriental choice of green tea. The only thing nice about the place.

Something more disappointing was the parking lot, especially during rush hour. It was extremely challenging to squeeze a decent sized sedan when the parking lots were all occupied. Parking across the street didn't cross patron's minds as they all tried to fit into the small space. Overall, this establishment seemed to be a hit or miss for me. If celebrity sight seeing is what you're after, you can always just visit Carry Saunders and her posse at the Valentine Hotel. For expensive prices, save your money. This lands Muddy Farmer one star out of five as it has not much to offer Los Santos as it acts as a boring regular pub.

Jing's overall rating:
Muddy Farmer

Following reviews from Jing:
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